Pensions And The F*** 'em Factor

I remember, when I was a lad, a friend told me one of the silliest jokes I've ever heard. He said, "Did you hear the one about the mouse that went to the Post Office to get its pension"? Before I could answer, he followed up with, "Did ya’ get it"?

"No", I said, thinking he meant the joke.

"Neither did the mouse”, he said - “it wasn't sixty five."

I don't know why my brain works the way it does, or if it's much different to everyone else's, but somehow I think of that silly little joke every time I hear pensions mentioned on the TV these days. The trouble is it's only the media I hear touching on the subject. I wish the rest of us would talk about these things more often, we’re not going to get an unbiased view from the media. Even more worrying, in the UK, we have GOATs (Government of All The Talents). In other words, the same bunch of scoundrels (mostly unelected) who've dedicated their self-proclaimed genius to thinking up ways of shafting working people, asset stripping, and outsourcing jobs - now have the job of ratting on our pensions. Their talent for such specialised work, will no doubt entitle them to banker-type bonuses.

Now, if anyone at all, bothers to read my hubs, I apologise for the thinly disguised f word, but that's the word I hear so often used these days, when people talk about their decision to retire, or claim benefits - or jump ship, one way or another. I call it the f*** 'em factor.

It's easy to understand the mentality of an asset stripper. Think spoiled child, and you have it. British workers are so expensive and apparently, not yet vulnerable enough. “F*** 'em”, they say - as they throw their rattle out the pram. They sing a few choruses of Rule Britannia, sell the plant, steal the pension fund, and try to make out their indispensable posteriors were ‘chased out of the country’ by lazy, bolshy workers. Yet, they're not the problem. We 'the people' are the problem - we who sit on the fence, and do little more than try to emulate their moral bankruptcy, in our own individual modest ways.

Anyway, we work fifty years, (sixty, if we include ten years of conditioning at school) trying to muddle through, thinking one day the rat-race will end, for us. We might be too knackered to enjoy the few years left to us, but at last, we’ll have peace, and some freedom from the yoke. We console ourselves with the thought that no matter how bad things get, no matter how complete the abdication of our political parties, and public institutions, no matter how inexorable the decline of our working conditions, one day, just like the mouse in my friend's joke, we'll be able to shuffle off the harness. A bit like Quasimodo, we can claim "sanctuary", due to advanced years.

It was central to our upbringing. Whatever our background, our education, our political views, our sexual orientation, or, whichever football team we support. We took it for granted. I’m sure that’s why the joke keeps springing to mind, because it's so obvious that even the mouse knew - that, was the deal; no questions asked. Now, we can expect to see that contract torn up by an unelected clique, which can somehow dictate terms and conditions to us via whichever toothless political party we choose, as the lesser of two evils.

Yet even for them, I think it would be illogical to let working conditions deteriorate unchecked, whilst trying to persuade people to work until they drop. Their answer to the problem, no doubt, is a change in the law. I imagine the spin-masters are hard at work, at this very moment. The euphemisms will be carefully deliberated, and mandatory working (slavery), will be touted as unavoidable, for all, and for the benefit of all - now that 'we're all in this together'. They’ll bring back Del Boy saying, “You know it makes sense”.

You can see their point; more and more of the hoi polloi will do as they did with the bankruptcy dodge to get out of debt (another aspect of the factor) - they’ll jump off the treadmill, one way or another. The trickle will turn to flood and the dam will eventually burst. They’ll give it a name like ‘toxic’ idleness. People are doing it already; they don’t admit it; I don’t even think they’re admitting it to themselves, but that’s what they’re doing. It’s a taboo subject, so you have to listen carefully, but all the excuses end with the same, or similar - “...so I sez f*** ’em, and retired”.

However, I suppose after thirty years of individualism, we shouldn’t expect anything else. That mouse wanted to draw his pension early. You can’t blame him if everyone else is at it, but, I heard that joke fifty years ago, at a time even before the pundits in the 1960s and 70s would begin to talk of a future with much more leisure, due to technological and social progress. (Oh yes, they did!) Now that, I suspect, is the underlying issue. There are forces determined to maintain the status quo at all costs, which they will do easily, if they can keep us all playing catch-up with the money supply. It would suit those of that ilk too well, to keep us all preoccupied ‘from the cradle to the grave’ with their eternal rat race. That’s why I don't think we should ask where the money went recently; we should ask WHY the money went. It was probably just kicked into touch - again.

Anyway, there will always be problems, whichever way society drifts. To some people, it's not a problem as long as they think it’s someone else's problem. Whatever it is, it's not likely to disappear overnight. In the UK, after this coming May election, we won't wake up to find a society with an entirely new ethos. Within weeks, whoever wins will be back grovelling to big business, and ignoring the rest of us. That’s the price we pay for the f*** ‘em factor. It might get worse, before it gets better. The f*** 'em factor took decades to permeate our culture, and anyway, selfishness is an aspect of human nature. That means all of us, (except me); we're all different, but not so much different.

Yet, we human beings also have a great capacity to work together - especially during crises, and anyway, most of us like work, and want to work, and to contribute to society as long as we’re fit, healthy, and happy. Happiness is the key, because that's the difference between fulfilling-work, and drudgery, and, when we feel bullied, threatened, and insecure, we’re less likely to commit to the part we play in our society.

Generations who succeed us will see what we do today, and that will influence the decisions they make for their futures. They might tend towards more equitable, less materialistic policies. In my opinion, (if it was asked, which it won't be - so f*** 'em) the thing to guard against most, is too much power in too few hands, especially undemocratic power - no matter what political description it's given. That’s a dangerous trend, and I see too much of it these days. In time, no doubt, their policies, whatever they may be, will run into difficulties of their own - these things go in cycles anyway. That's their problem; f*** ‘em; we have our problems.

Personally, I'm gonna retire, and my next cat had better be a good mouser, because I'm not gonna share my 'hard-earned' pension, (what's left of it) with any f*****’ malingering rodents.