poems by me
52Yo Blair!
Oh, Ya'r' There Mr Blair
Oh, ya’r’ there,
Mr Blair,
So that’s where ya’ went,
So now ya’ would be, a President!
We’re still here,
Mr Blair,
Still, with no voice,
New Labour, no change, no choice.
Rubi-con
If you know it’s a con,
But carry on,
What kind of con is that?
When it’s red and flows,
And grows your nose,
It’s a Ruby-con - that’s what.
The Rubicon
Chuckle
It’s better to chuckle,
Than cause a kafuffle.
It’s better to laugh than frown,
The lines round your eyes,
Might double in size,
At least they’ll go up - not down.
Ab-cents
Who needs adsense?
I'll do my own thing,
Who needs clicks for pence,
And tweets, and twatters and pings.
Adsense, nonsense,
What is all that stuff?
I'll say what I want, the way I want,
And never mind the guff.
We Weed
We done wur wees an' wus sawee,
'Cos 'e knew it wus we wot weed,
If we'd weed in the woods, insteed o' the weeds,
The powisman wouldna' ha' seed.
He asked wur names an' addwesses,
We tol' 'im wur names - but leed,
If we'd o' bin sober, this Chwistmas,
We'd o' weed in the pan insteed
Translation (without burr)
We urinated and were sorry,
Because he knew it was us who had urinated,
If we had urinated in the woods, instead of the reeds,
The policeman would not have seen.
He asked for our names and addresses,
We told him our names - but lied,
If we had been sober this Christmas,
We would have urinated in the pan instead.
Mums
Wives and lovers might come and go,
For any ol’ reason or other,
But every son of a mother should know,
Yar’ Mum is always yar’ mother.
It’s not a poem
It’s not a poem,
If it doesn’t rhyme,
Though it’s woeful, or witty, or cute.
If it’s arty-farty,
Clean or clarty
Or any way you put it.
It’s aint no poem,
If it don’t not rhy-em,
If its don’t not rhyme, ya’‘s blew it.
‘Cause it’s not no poem,
If it’s not never rhymes,
That’s all there's never was to it.
A Matter Of Opinion
(Sung to the tune - Auld Lang Syne)
“It’s a matter o’ a pin, yin”,
The man wi’ the wooden leg said,
“When I don’t have ma pin yin on,
I hops upon my head”.
He hopped upon ‘is head, an' said,
As 'e fell an' broke 'is glasses,
"In my opinion that road's too hard,
I’ll try it where the grass is”.
He hopped across the grass,
And 'e landed in a cowpat,
So ‘is Mam came by an' slapped 'is ears,
And that's a matter of fact.
CommentsLoading...
Hi hotspur, I bet we’re not the only ones.
Thanks for looking in on me.
Amillar these are great! Spike Mlligan meets Rabbie Burns! You should write more and get them published in a book. I'd buy it.
Thanks Amanda, but Rabbie was a womaniser and a drunk, and Spike was raving mad. You’re not trying to tell me something are you? You think it; I’ll say it - if the cap fits…
Nice to hear your voice! Thanks for the poetry
Hi Jess Killmenow, Thanks for listening to my voice.
Great stuff, laddie! Spike and Rabbie indeed - if I could be half as inventive as either I'd be glad, for sure. Yer good an' funny.
Love and peace
Tony
Thanks Tony, I humbly accept the compliment and hope, one day, I'll live up to it. (My wife would say, “Don’t encourage him”.)
Thanks for looking in on me.
hotspur 2 years ago
ok anyone who uses the word kafuffle and can see Blair for the w@&@er with a Churchillian complex he is has my thumbs up.